Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Presidential Circus!!! Top 5 Actual Circus Performers Who Might Want to Jump into the Race

Tired of this circus of a presidential race? With all the grade school name-calling, insults and violence, this race is nothing short of a 3 ring circus. So, here's a list of the Top 5 Actual Circus Performers Who Might Want to Jump into the Presidential Race.

5. Mime - garners your attention by shutting his or her mouth and getting the job done. JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!!!

4. Juggler – able to juggle everything at once. Sometimes just balls, clubs and rings. Other times, knives, fire torches and chainsaws. Kinda like the presidency.

3. Tightrope Walker – great with maintaining balance, dealing with stress, keeping calm and walking a fine line.

2. Elephant – exceptionally smart. They have the largest brain of any land animal, and three times as many neurons as humans. They also have extraordinary memories, show empathy, understand human body language and can identify languages.

1. Ringmaster – he or she can be in charge of tigers, sea lions, unicyclists and acrobats, sing, dance and interact with a large crowd… all at once, WHILE BEING PROFESSIONAL AND GRACEFUL. Perfect! He or she can be the ringmaster of our country. The ringmaster has a huge crew of people contributing to his or her success – just like a president.

Please note: Clowns don't make the list, because we already have at least one clown running. In terms of buffoonery, we're covered!