Thursday, May 28, 2015

Top 5 NEW Things to Remember During an Earthquake

Top 5 NEW Things to Remember During an Earthquake

With Dwayne Johnson’s latest action flick, “San Andreas”, opening tomorrow, I thought I’d count down the Top 5 things to remember during an earthquake. Now, I’m not talking about all the advice you’ve been given over the years, such as getting under a table and staying away from windows, I’m talking about things you REALLY need to know.

5. PLAY A ROCKIN’ SOUNDTRACK. You’ll certainly need some good tunes to get you through the earthquake aftermath, because you may be trapped for a while. My top two suggestions?  “I Feel the Earth Move” by Carole King and “Housequake” by Prince. Soon enough, you’ll be shakin’ just like the temblor.

4. POP OPEN A BOTTLE OF AFTERSHOCK. If you haven’t tried the cinnamon flavored liqueur by Jim Beam, this is the perfect opportunity to spice up your life. Make sure enough shot glasses have survived the rumbling, because you will need them!

3. CONTACT CONAN O’BRIEN’S LONGTIME SIDEKICK, ANDY RICHTER, TO FIND OUT THE MAGNITUDE OF THE QUAKE ON THE RICHTER SCALE. You probably thought you should contact the Earthquake Lady, right? (In case you don’t live in California, Kate Hutton is a seismologist at Cal Tech and every time we experience a shaker worth mentioning, we see her on the news talking about it.) But NO! Dr. Kate’s not your go-to. You really want to have the right information, so Andy Richter’s your guy. Who knew a comedian could invent something so useful during emergency situations?

2. WATCH THE 1974 FILM, “EARTHQUAKE”, STARRING CHARLTON HESTON. Here, you’ll get some extremely helpful information about what to do and what not to do. I mean, wouldn’t YOU want Moses on your side when you’re stuck in the middle of a disaster?

1. And the number one thing to remember during an earthquake is… It’s not your FAULT!!!

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Top 5 Foods to Eat in Bed

Are you anything like my husband? No, I don't mean handsome, smart and funny... I mean, do you like to snack in bed while watching t.v.? For us neat freaks, we may get a little nervous when food enters the bedroom, so I thought I'd count down the Top 5 Foods to Eat in Bed. I took into account flavor, of course, but also things like the amount of crumb production and likelihood of getting sticky fingers! (By the way, MY favorite things to eat in bed are popcorn in a big bowl sprinkled with Kraft Parmesan Cheese and a pint of Ben and Jerry's or Haagen Dazs ice cream all to myself!) Sooooooo good, but sooooooo messy.) Here's a list of my tidy and tasty recommendations, but what's YOUR favorite food to eat in bed??? Let us know.

5. Say CHEESE! Though country crooner Barbara Mandrell sang "You can eat crackers in my bed anytime", you need to skip the crackers AND bread. Cheese is a bit better with its crunchy or doughy counterpart, but it's still scrumptious on its own. String cheese, cubed cheese, cheese stick, sliced cheese, Mini Babybel... I could go on and on.

4. Goin' NUTS! They DO need to be shelled though. Marcona almonds, peanuts, shelled pistachio nuts, etc. I've done chocolate covered almonds and that works too... just make sure the chocolate doesn't melt. And if you want to keep bugs (besides those pesky bed bugs that are probably already there) far away from your mattress, choose a nut that isn't salted or covered with hickory flavoring or something.

3. Juicy FRUIT! Make sure it is bite-sized and has a skin you can eat. Grapes and cherries are the best, though with cherries, remember to bring a bowl for the seeds. One additional bonus when it comes to eating cherries, they are apparently one of the few natural foods that contain melatonin (the chemical that helps control our body's internal clock), so they'll even help you sleep! Dried fruits are a fine choice as well, but they won't help you catch your ZZZZZZZ's.

2. I want CANDY!!! While candy bars are not a good option, there are plenty of delicious candies that make no mess at all. Here are some of my favorites: Swedish Fish (my all-time favorite candy), licorice, Jelly Bellies, Skittles, Gummy Bears, Gummy Colas, Starbursts and Hot Tamales. What's wrong with a little sweet treat before bed?!?

1. When it comes to number one, all rules get thrown out. CHAMPAGNE BREAKFAST IN BED!!! With a tray, of course. Eggs Benedict, bacon, sausage, toast, yogurt, whatever you like... and a bit of the bubbly! And let's face it... often times, when you're having breakfast in bed, you're at a hotel, so spilling some runny yolk on the sheets is not AS big of a deal.

Now, get snackin', then get snoozin'!